Honey, I Have a Headache – Not in Afghanistan You Don’t

4 04 2009

You can’t say no if your husband wants sex and you’re a Shiite Muslim woman in Afghanistan. You are required by a new law to have sex with him whenever he asks unless you are ill. Convenient for the men…and critics are outraged at the worsening of women’s human rights in Afghanistan. Estimates put the number of Shiite (or Shi’a) Muslims there who are affected by the new law at 10 – 25% of the population.

The new law signed by Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai restricts a Shiite woman’s rights even further:

  • She cannot leave the house without her husband’s permission and it can be only for a “legitimate purpose.”
  • She cannot seek work or hold a job without her husband’s permission.
  • She cannot get an education without her husband’s permission.
  • She cannot make a doctor’s appointment without her husband’s permission.
  • She cannot be granted child custody in the case of divorce; custody goes only to fathers and grandfathers .
  • She cannot inherit houses or land from her husband, but he can inherit them from her.

An United Nations press release was issued about this on 4/2/09 and begins by stating this:

The UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Navi Pillay on Thursday urged the Afghan Government to rescind a new law, reportedly signed by President Karzai earlier this month, saying it would seriously undermine women’s rights in Afghanistan and contravene the Afghanistan constitution as well as universal human rights standards.

The press release quotes Ms. Pillay as saying that:

This is another clear indication that the human rights situation in Afghanistan is getting worse not better. Respect for women’s rights – and human rights in general – is of paramount importance to Afghanistan’s future security and development. This law is a huge step in the wrong direction.

I got a small taste of these lack of freedoms for women when I lived in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia in 1979 and 1980. I could not drive a car. A man had to accompany me anywhere I went. I had to have my arms and legs covered when I went to the main souq (marketplace) downtown (with a man, of course). I wasn’t allowed to work except to teach in the American school. I could not even go to Jeddah to join my husband until he had established himself as a legitimate person working in that country. I was left behind in the U.S. pregnant for several months and had the baby without him by my side as a result.

But my restricted freedoms were nothing like what the Afghan Shi’a women are now being faced with. The new law legalizes a husband raping his wife. He has total control over what she does and when. If you are a woman, ask yourself how you would like to have no choice on whether you have sex or not with your husband. How would you like to be told that you cannot get an education or a job or leave the house or even go to the doctor without your husband’s approval?

The freedoms we enjoy in the United States as women are immense compared to those that are slipping away from or nonexistent to women in other parts of the world. We don’t have pay parity with men. We don’t have many women in executive positions. We have never had a woman president. But we can choose to say no to our husbands when we don’t feel like having sex.

Let us remember our sisters all over the world and join Commissioner Pillay and President Obama in denouncing this new Afghan law that makes a woman less than a person.

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3 responses

5 04 2009
Catherine

This is a terrific post. Thank you for continuing to write about women’s rights. This is so important and you are doing a fabulous job.

6 04 2009
JollyRoger

It should not go unmentioned here that the Jesusistani wack jobs in this country have the same basic attitude towards women. The next time somebody thinks that it’s no “big deal” for a woman to be denied a contraceptive by a Jesusistani Pharmacist, he or she might want to consider what lies at the end of the road.

24 02 2010
Vika

The thing is that those women you are talking about don’t feel themselves humiliated. It’s a common affair for them. I agree with you that this situation must be changed, but you can’t make people want something they don’t know. You won’t get the needed response. Like you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. I guess we must work on providing information first. Otherwise, all the efforts will be pointless.

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