No doubt the music was superb, the dancing mesmerizing, the videos innovative
, the costumes eye-popping, the energy unbelievable. After his death this week, Michael Jackson, the proclaimed King of Pop, leaves a legacy of 13 Grammy awards, 13 number one singles, the best selling record of all time (Thriller), 750 million records sold, and many other accolades and awards. He also leaves behind three children, $500 million in debt, a tangled legal mess, and the sad legacy of child abuse.
Michael Jackson was an abused child and he was (allegedly) an abuser. It’s easy to forget all this because we are so stunned at the death so young of someone who has made such an impact on music. We must remember, though, that his life story is a cautionary tale.
When Michael was a child, his father Joseph did things like:
- Held Michael upside down with one leg and “pummeled him over and over again with his hand, hitting him on his back and buttocks,” per brother Marlon.
- Sat in a chair with a belt in his hand while the Jackson brothers rehearsed and that “if you didn’t do it the right way, he would tear you up, really get you,” per Michael.
- Tripped and pushed the boys into walls and called them names.
[NOTE 6/30: The Wall Street Journal reports that it appears that Michael's father Joseph was cut out of what is purported to be his latest will, written in 2002.]
The abuse took a toll. Michael often cried from loneliness and even vomited upon seeing the father he so feared. He went from an adorable and impossibly talented little boy to a bizarre-looking and irrevocably scarred middle-aged man. And still lonely. Very lonely.
Perhaps to ease his loneliness and to try and create the childhood he never had, he often invited children over to his fairytale and theme park-like Neverland Ranch. He admitted to the stunned British journalist Martin Bashir, in a 2003 documentary entitled Living with Michael Jackson, that he often had children sleep in his bed.
Just this sort of thing is what got Michael in trouble in 1993 and 2005 when both times he was accused of sexual abuse of a child. In 1993 he suffered deteriorated health from being addicted to three painkillers as a result of the stress he felt from dealing with the accusations and settled out of court. In 2005 the boy who was seen holding hands with Michael and discussing sleeping arrangements with him in the documentary accused him of sexual abuse. The People v. Jackson trial ended with Michael being found not guilty, but left a shroud of suspicion around him that never ended. Mental health professional Dr. Stan Katz, who evaluated Michael and the accuser for the trial, declared Michael a “regressed 10-year-old” and not a pedophile.
Perhaps that’s so. Perhaps Michael was 10 in his thoughts and actions and doing the normal exploratory stuff that 10-year-olds do. Maybe he was innocent and taken advantage of by greedy fortune-seekers. At the very least, Michael was naively inappropriate to allow children in his bed. He was an adult and a public figure. He should have known better.
But this is what severe child abuse does. It can delay or thwart emotional development and contribute to a 50-year-old man regressing to being 10 years old. It can lead to life-long problems.
Michael Jackson is both a talented and tragic figure. It leaves us wondering if he would’ve been less troubled and if he would have left a less sullied legacy if he had been treated with kindness and love as a child and not ridicule, threats, and harm.
This brings to my mind the 1954 poem by Dorothy Law Nolte that has hung in my home since my now-grown children were small. I looked at that poem several times a day and tried to live by its tenets as I raised my daughters. Here is the poem, entitled “Children Learn What They Live”:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
Thanks for the music, Michael. Like so many creative giants, your flame extinguished way too soon. The torture you felt in life is now silenced, but the music lives on. Here’s one of my favorites of his. Enjoy.
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i dont think the child abuse will live on in memory the music will live on in memory
The music will definitely live on, but I suspect there will always be a footnote to his legacy, just as a Barry Bonds who used steroids. You admire the accomplishment, but the personal actions of the individual color what they achieved. In Michael’s case, his personal actions were greatly…in my humble opinion…influenced by the abuse he suffered at an early age.
Let’s not forget he was never convicted… are we not considered innocent until proven guilty anymore?
Lyricalqt, You’re right. That’s why I said alleged. I also said he could be completely innocent. The thing is, though, that he created a shroud of possible guilt by allowing children in his bed even after the first case where he was charged with sexual abuse of a child, which he settled out of court. I believe his thwarted emotional development due to his own abuse made it impossible for him to understand that that was inappropriate.
You put into words so eloquently what I could not. Thank you. I wasn’t even a big fan of his, but he did touch many lives with his style of music. I pray he is at peace now.
I’m one of four adult children who were abused… I’m the same age as M.J. and the only living sibling… abuse even what many would consider *mild* kills a spirit when it hasn’t reached an age of understanding, forever stunted… and we live making sure no one sees are defects, because when they do they turn way, and it is lonely.
Let’s see now” You, as a father, BEAT your child so he can perfom for $; the mother stands by and permits this. Now you both rush for custody of the children (read money)….and no oneini society says a damn thing? Anthony
Anthony, I’ve had the same thoughts. Sad, isn’t it? One can only assume that Katherine Jackson knew what her husband was doing in being abusive to the Jackson boys although I don’t know that for a fact. Michael seems to have still had kind words for his mother. It would be horrible to see that abuse perpetuated on Michael’s children.
Is Joe Jackson gonna try and turn Michael’s children into stars too now by beating them into it…?
Personally I hope Joe Jackson isn’t allowed anywhere near these children.
[...] After his death this week, Michael Jackson , the proclaimed King of Pop, leaves a legacy of 13 Grammy awards, 13 number one singles, the best selling record of all time (Thriller), 750 million records sold, and many other accolades and …More [...]
I agree with the previous poster that Joe Jackson never be allowed near Michael’s children…. if he (Joe Jackson) had any integrity at all, he would quietly disappear into the woodwork… instead, it’s like he sees this as an opportunity to gain center stage for himself. What an ugly human being he is…..
Michael, may you rest in peace.
Karen, I agree. Joe Jackson was sitting front row at the BET Awards…supposedly to promote some venture of his. It is just disgusting.
I, too, was surprised that Mrs. Jackson didn’t intercede during Joe Jackson’s alleged acts of abuse. But I understand that she is a tiny woman, and during the time period that covered MJ’s childhood, domestic violence and child abuse were not as much in the public consciousness. She may have been in fear of her own safety, as well — police at that time were perhaps not as likely as they are today to answer a 911 call for spousal or child abuse and arrest an abuser on the spot. Woman were not as protected from repercussions from reporting abuse as they are today. I do not fear Joe’s harming MJ’s children, though. I understand he lives in Las Vegas, and anyway, not only is the world watching and would not tolerate it, but his other sons are big enough to physically stop him from harming the children. Further, I believe Mrs. Jackson has enough credibility to be immediately believed in the event she were to report any abuse of her grandchildren by Joe. Authorities would crack down on anyone hurting those children, and she has also has the financial resources to protect them.
Moonbeam, good points. It was a different time. About 14 years ago I read a book about Michael Jackson and it went into detail about the physical abuse he suffered growing up. I mentioned it to my mother and she said that was no big deal…everyone (parents) was doing it then. While that was going on in my household, I only have one age peer I know who experienced physical abuse at the hands of their parents. Not everyone was doing it, but it certainly was not in the public consciousness and wives or children wouldn’t have called the police if they experienced or witnessed it. Thankfully, times are different now.
Trough everything he has been through we cannot deny that he was a very loving and caring man. He gave money to so many charities and deeply cared about his kids. People insisted on scrutinizing him, which seemed to make him just so weak. He seemed to be very shy. I think that at this time we just need to view him as the extremely loving man who never gave up his youth and childlike spirit. I hope that he sees that people realize this now. I hope that he is happy.
The world was recently saddened by the sudden loss of pop icon Michael Jackson. In memoriam of this legendary and one-of-a-kind performer, Ztarlet Star Registry has dedicated an actual star in his memory – as a symbol of the bright light that Jackson brought to the music industry and his millions of loyal fans across the globe.
http://digg.com/celebrity/Michael_Jackson_Immortalized_with_Dedication_of_Star
Digg this!
Hope for survivors of sexual abuse:
http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/hope-for-survivors-of-sexual-abuse/
Jackson clan must know Michale is not the biological father and that makes Catherine & Joe not the true biological grandparents. If as reported, Jackson signed on the birth certificates of the two first born to Debbie Rowe — there is foul play afoot and one could surmise it’s perilessly close to fraud. When money surrounds a death, vulchers hover. Jackson story is going to have many acts to come! Would hope a neutral party, preferably a guardian-ad-litum, would be appointed by court to look out for the best interest of the children. Ask many questions of those children who were raised in almost a sterile, cult-like & isolated fashion. Was this mental abuse? Reports say, Joe Jackson was very controling & strict with his children. Reports say, Michael was the same. Michael claimed Joe beat him. Physical abuse vs mental abuse; both are abuse. Physical abuse scars the body. Mental abuse scars the psyche. These children should be evaluated by CPS. Abuse is a record that plays on. Whether the King Of Pop was indeed a pediphile or not seems to linger. A psychologist would say that all the childhood makings were there and later the Neverland trappings, statues of young boys, association with them and sleeping with them added to the mix. If the boys that dared came forward were telling it as it happened, it is alarming – for Jackson has raised a boy child under very private circumstances. Alarming from the standpoint that the only cured pediphile is a dead one. I am not one to take the matter of sexual abuse of young children lightly nor so easily convinced there was no thread of truth in the accusations at all. Regardless of Jackson’s win in court, law and motion does not always bring justice. OJ’s murder trial is a prime example! If he did it — he knows it! Same for Jackson. Living with guilt can be a killer too!!
You make some good points, ELM. Trust me, physical abuse leaves more than physical scars…it leaves emotional ones too. And you’re right, pedophiles are rarely cured. I’ve seen jurors interviewed from Michael’s trial and they said they followed the law, but felt he probably was at least inappropriate with the boy in question. And yes, abuse does tend to perpetuate. Michael Jackson was an amazing performer, but also a very disturbed and disturbing man.
He was never given a chance to be normal…..from a life none of us can even image we expect a “regular” individual. He was an Icon by the time he was a teen and he didn’t even have a stable family life to at least be a guiding force. Every rule that applies to someones development he didn’t get to live by and yet now people judge. He has done more amazing things for society than ANYONE living in our life time. Yet people have the nerve to judge him on something that he was not proven guilty for. SHAME on them for being so ignorant to at least try and understand! I do believe that is how all evil starts with simple misunderstand and close minded people. I would not dare make such a statement if there was sold proof that he did all those things he was accused of. May he rest in peace and thank God we had someone in our life time that had such a big heart and soul and was not afraid to be who he was. A humanitarian and one of the most talented individuals to ever live!
jackson shud come back
Mike’s mother did try to stop the abuse. she did the best she could. Katherine could not fight joe jackson physically, but she begged him to stop her hurting her children. Joe Jackson simply refused to listen. Katherine is a very brave woman. an so is Mike. R.I.P. Mike
+Jackson clan must know Michale is not the biological father and that makes Catherine & Joe not the true biological grandparents. If as reported, Jackson signed on the birth certificates of the two first born to Debbie Rowe — there is foul play afoot and one could surmise it’s perilessly close to fraud. When money surrounds a death, vulchers hover. Jackson story is going to have many acts to come! Would hope a neutral party, preferably a guardian-ad-litum, would be appointed by court to look out for the best interest of the children. Ask many questions of those children who were raised in almost a sterile, cult-like & isolated fashion. Was this mental abuse? Reports say, Joe Jackson was very controling & strict with his children. Reports say, Michael was the same. Michael claimed Joe beat him. Physical abuse vs mental abuse; both are abuse. Physical abuse scars the body. Mental abuse scars the psyche. These children should be evaluated by CPS. Abuse is a record that plays on. Whether the King Of Pop was indeed a pediphile or not seems to linger. A psychologist would say that all the childhood makings were there and later the Neverland trappings, statues of young boys, association with them and sleeping with them added to the mix. If the boys that dared came forward were telling it as it happened, it is alarming – for Jackson has raised a boy child under very private circumstances. Alarming from the standpoint that the only cured pediphile is a dead one. I am not one to take the matter of sexual abuse of young children lightly nor so easily convinced there was no thread of truth in the accusations at all. Regardless of Jackson’s win in court, law and motion does not always bring justice. OJ’s murder trial is a prime example! If he did it — he knows it! Same for Jackson. Living with guilt can be a killer too!! i love you michael jackson 4 ever and ever and ever.
michael jackson mom did try to stop him but
Katherine could not fight joe jackson physically
but she begged him to stop her hurting her children.
Katherine is a very brave woman.
AND SO IS MICHAEL I LOVE YOU MIKE.
Hi Diane,
I was beaten for under similar circumstances by my father from the time I was 5 to 11 years old. He would hit me with a huge belt if my homework wasn’t done properly or I got a poor grade. I struggled with arithmetic and he would explain the calculations a couple of times, then proceed to yelling, then taking off his belt. I would get so scared that I would just keep guessing until he got tired of hitting me and telling me how dumb and mediocre I was. He even suspended me in the air by my wrist with one hand as he struck me with his belt in the other. I am 31 years old now and even though I have been in therapy several times, I am still an anxious perfectionist and when think about those incidents, it feels like it happened yesterday. So I understand how Michael ended up as he did, and I regret that I never wrote him to let him know that. I figured that the chances would reach him were slim to none.
In regards to the molestation charges. I was molested by a relative when I was 11 years old (tough live huh?) and for that reason I am 100% certain that Michael never touched those boys. I can tell by reading their testimonies. Pedophiles ALWAYS secure the scene, that’s the first thing that they do, and it’s never a suspicious location – that’s why they never get caught in the act. By telling the whole world that boys slept in his bed, it’s clear to me that nothing happened. It would be like a rapist telling the whole world that he slips roofies into women’s drinks. Secondly, the first accuser’s brother claimed that Michael performed sexual acts on his brother in the lower bunk, as he lay on the top bunk – that would NEVER happen.
Sexual molestation is a very traumatic experience, the details and circumstances are seared into your brain. Twenty years later, I remember everything: the number of incidences, the time of day, what I was wearing, where he abused me, where he touched me, how he smelled. Those boys could not keep their stories straight: they couldn’t even keep track of the number and locations of events, and would either downgrade or upgrade their accusations from one deposition to the next – that’s how I know that it was all a lie.
I think that Michael simply tried to give those boys the attention and acceptance that he never received from his father. Unfortunately, he was worth 500 million to 1 billion dollars and those kids had amoral parents. He was behind his times, remember that he stopped living in the real world in 1969 when Motown signed the Jacksons and the family moved to LA. He actually lived with Diana Ross without his parents for a few months – how unorthodox is that? You don’t learn Middle-America social norms in the Sodom and Gomorrah that is Hollywood. His parents taught him NOTHING other than to perform. I don’t think that Michael watched Law and Order: SVU or Investigative Reports on A&E, he didn’t understand how he would be perceived and he was just as stubborn as he was clueless.
I just hope that he found happiness in the end by being a father to HIS children and working towards his come-back. He looked very happy in recent pictures, like he had something to look forward to. Thank God he didn’t die during or soon after his trial. I pray that his reputation will be restored in time.
Hi Evie, thanks for reading and for your comments. I, too, was beaten with a belt by my father for just being a child…doing things like accidentally turning over a chair, a glass of milk, etc. I know how traumatizing that is. I’m so sorry that you also suffered sexual abuse on top of that. The effects of that do last a lifetime. I doubt we’ll ever know for sure what Michael did with young boys, but his brothers have verified the physical abuse they and Michael received at the hands of their father. Michael Jackson was a wonderful talent, but also a tragic figure. The love he had for his own children and the good he did to help others seem genuine and may be his biggest legacy.
I think that Michael was probably sexually abused as a child too. He has said how he shared bedrooms on the road with his brothers, could it have been one of them? Someone taught him this behavior I would think, and this may have started when he was a youngster too, and this would explain his lack of interest in girls regarding sexual desire as most boys demonstrate an interest in; which Michael never did. He may have learned sexual satisfaction in a different way that he became accostumed too and carried with him all of his life as a result of childhood sexual abuse.
After reading the transcripts on the web site; The Smoking Gun, it is hard to think that the testimonies of the boys could have all been made up with such detail as they provided. I have to agree that he was guilty as his lifestyle would even back up his behavior towards women in general and his secrecy about details of his private life. Where there is smoke, there is fire!
One more comment that I forgot to add: what about the Omer kid that lived with him at different times? Could he have had this kid as a lover too? I don’t know why the family has not done a DNA test on him and also on the 3 Jackson children, at least to know if he was their biological father or not.
There is probably so much more to this tragic story that we would be shocked to find all of it out. I wouldn’t doubt if just the surface has been scratched.
Sheila, you make some interesting points. I wonder why the family hasn’t had DNA tests done on these kids (maybe they have and we don’t know it) also. I agree that there surely is so much more that we don’t know.
I have never been much of a Jackson fan, but since his death I took a different look on his work and I can say that I got trapped into his music and dance. The guy was a big talent. However I decided to take a look into his life, too and I am reading a lot about the trial and molestation charges. I have read the transcripts on the smoking gun website, but I don’t find them too informative, since no cross examination is presented on that site. I have managed to find the full transcripts elsewhere. We may never know what really happened with those boys. But one thing is for sure – the whole thing is suspicious on both sides. First of all this second case that went to court is a »copy-paste« example of the first one. In both cases brothers saw the supposed molestation acts. I think that nobody who is doing that would risk having a witness. And saying on a TV documentary that sleeping with kids is ok? Yes, in Michael’s world that was OK. But what pedophile would say that loud? Except the psychopaths who don’t know what is real and what not, I just do not see Jackson as a cold blooded psychopath.
And let’s not forget that the second kid says he was molested after the documentary. So before the documentary he slept in the same room with Jackson and didn’t feel threatened? I don’t buy his story. He kept changing his statements, from saying he himself wanted to sleep in Jackson’s room to Michael asking him to ask his parents to allow him stay in the room; from being molested 7 times to 5 and finally only 2 times…
And there are only two publicly known victims and another charge that came from his maid who kept changing the story of seeing Michael inappropriately touch her son as money offers from TV stations came.
Where are the others? Are all the kids quiet because of the money? What kind of parents would tolerate that? What kind of parents let the boys sleep with a guy who was accused of molestation, if they really suspected he did it? Were they all so insane and prostituting their sons? To me that is even worse than Michael’s way of seeing relationships with kids… And besides there weren’t just boys in his bed, his hairdresser has stated her daughter slept with him. And quite a big number of those young friends stayed friends with Jackson for a long time.
And if anybody knew anything they should have talked, not to the media, but to the police. Why didn’t they?
I am not saying we will know the truth, I am saying we should all take it with a grain of salt. Michael had a different understanding of the world, as a result of the trauma in his youth, he lived on a magic ranch, and he played with toys even when kids were not around… And he had no understanding by the media. He had one tragic life that ended in a tragic way. I hope his kids will be fine and won’t be dragged into the same world as him and won’t be ripped by the media. As far as someone mentioned DNA tests, how can we know if they made them or not, besides it is none of our business.
CD, thanks for your comments. You make some good points. There are many things that are very suspicious about Michael Jackson’s interactions with children. I saw Matt Lauer of the Today Show tour his home after his death. Michael had several layers of locks and warnings of when someone was approaching his bedroom. Why? He also had secret compartments within his bedroom. Also, children are known to recant their accusations toward molesters in the face of pressure from the legal system or adults. At the very least, Michael was unbelievably naive. At worst, he was a child molester. I doubt we will ever know the real truth.
Well, to me the truth is clear: MJ was very far from being a child molester. Everything I know about human nature and everything I’ve seen directly from Michael (what I read doesn’t count because there are a lot of lies out there) made me conclude that MJ was always telling the truth. He really was a naive, caring, sweet childlike person. Not to mention a genius, but everyone already knows about it.
He was naive in the way he easily trusted people, and many times got betrayed for that. But, to me, he was not being naive when he mentioned kids slept in his room (NOT in bed with him), and when he kept saying that there’s nothing wrong with sharing the bed with someone. He also said that was a bad idea if it was a pedophile or a psycho, but that wasn’t him. He was showing integrity. He didn’t deny what he said before just because it shocked people, because he truly believed there was nothing wrong with sharing the bed with his kid friends. Now you think about it: is there anything wrong?
Yes there is… if you have a dirty mind.
I observed Michael Jackson a lot in the videos you can find around the internet and I could feel he didn’t have a dirty mind. Believe me, I KNOW dirty minded people and, like someone else mentioned here before, I was also sexually molested. I know pervert people from the distance. It’s like I can smell them and avoid them.
Michael Jackson was really sweet and childlike, even is sex related things.
Someone else mentioned before that Michael has never shown interest for girls. Well, actually he did. But he doesn’t behave like regular men. He could feel attraction for women, but he was too shy never felt the need for sex. Believe me, people like that exist. Besides, he also had some traumas about sex because of his brothers doing it in front of him when he as a kid. Sex can be really traumatizing for a child.
Though, I must say the theory about himself being sexually molested sounded a bit riddiculous, to me.
There is more I want to say about sex in MJ’s life…
Almost everyone here mentioned he had strange behaviour because of the abuse by his father during his childhood. That is true… but sounds a little too simple since we’re talking about someone so great as Michael Jackson.
First of all we cannot forget that we’re talking about a true GENIUS. What genius in history you know who behaved “normally”? These people are different from the rest of us and, apart from the superior intelligence, they are far more sensitive. It’s like they’re somehow directly connected to the stream of divine inspiration, especially in the art field. MJ was one of them, without a doubt.
A harsh childhood can do terrible things to everyone’s personality… To someone so much sensitive would be most certainly worse. MJ grew a wonderful person, full of integrity and empathy for people, but had a lot of “ghosts” as well. The Peter Pan syndrome, that causes confusion to most people, makes this man a true child at heart.
To me, more oh these “ghosts” show themselves in MJ’s “plastic” face and what he transformed into physically. His father always teased him about he being ugly and such, and about the nose too. I believe he never liked himself or the way he looked. He didn’t like to look in the mirror, I heard him say that once. This probabily explain the cirguries, one after another, though he never admitted it. Well, I wouldn’t admit this personal life weakness in public either…
He wanted to look perfect so bad. The vitilligo he claims to have, and I believe he had it, probabily made his disgust for himself even worse. So he wore make-up to hide the spots and became whiter and whiter as the vitilligo spread. For the people who claim MJ was a racist, think again… and watch him closely how he deals with people and friends.
Now tell me: if you had such disgust for your body and your face and wore lots of make-up to hide the imperfections and never want to look at them, would you be at ease to have sex with a partner you found attractive?
I don’t think so. I would even loose my apetite for sex.
How about if you were such a sensitive child who grew traumtized with sex and was so shy as an adult?
Or if you were accused of being a pedophile when all you did was love children and help them have a better life or providing them joyfull moments?
Or if you were addicted to painkillers and couldn’t sleep properly?
If your mind was constantly full of concerns about the planet, how the human race is destroying it and how much pain that caused you?
Or if your mind was constantly in creative mode, thinking about new songs, new ways of entertaining, new dance steps?
If you felt lonely constantly, trapped in what you became (a star, a public figure, a different person in heart and soul)?
I don’t believe his children are his, biologically, but I know he was a dedicated and loving daddy. And the reason why he never wanted to have HIS children, can be explained… he didn’t want to have sex, and he was afraid his children came out looking ugly like him. I saw enough to believe he was this disgusted with the way he looked.
I hope that, in time, the truth about this wonderful person is revealed and little by little the people will start to understand him better.
He once said this: “The truth will always prevail” or something like that. I believe this too… or maybe I’m baive.
May he be in peace and look after his children from above.
We down here will always listen to his music, watch him dance and feel inspirated by his light. And pass his legacy to our children.